DANGITALLTOHECK!

Just when I thought I�d figured out where I stood, he has to go and screw things up again.

Dammit.

Okay, so see, I was reasonably content. Yes, my love life is confused and sucky, but I could live with that.

I mean, yes, Justin has some serious problems, and I need to talk to him, and chances are that that relationship just isn�t going to work out.

And dammitall, yes, I need me some nookie. Or at least a good backrub by a possibly viable romantic interest (which means nobody I�m related to and not Greg, either, because it just isn�t there).

But hell, at least I�m being tremendously flirted with by men who are probably going to flirt with me a hell of a lot more in a year and a bit.

I mean, at least that�s something, right?

I knew where I stood, at least sort of. I mean, Lenny is distant past, I haven�t heard from him in a few weeks; Justin is recent past, I haven�t heard from him since Saturday, and I don�t know if I care either way yet; and I�m having fun as I am now, flirting with Asbjorn and Hrothgar (and Hrothgar is disturbingly like me, I�ll have you know. Only bigger and older and male and, well, Hrothgar) and trying to see if I can get Ankh�s friend to be my pet at Momma�s, seeing as how she stole John-Boy away from me...

So here I am, sitting right where I�m sitting now, about to get off the computer since Rachel wants on, telling Asbjorn about Momma�s so he can go see, since he�s a nifty guy and is open-minded and funny enough to be a helpful addition, at least so far as I�m concerned; and the phone rings, and I ignore it because hell, the phone is never for me in this house anyway.

Except that it was for me.

It was Lenny, reappearing and fucking with my head (although I don�t know he realizes he�s doing this) yet again.

You know something? I don�t know what I�m going to do with him, or with Justin, or with anybody else for that matter.

But I keep getting the strange feeling that I need to watch the movie �Sweet November� so that I know whether or not the mental image of what I may become has anything to do with that movie.

Because I keep wanting to be able to take a guy, one in a miserable situation, and save him: from himself, from what he�s become, from his situation, whatever.

If I�m right about this, my track record isn�t so good so far, but at least I�ve managed to pick guys who could use it...