Heh heh heh... Tito called again! :)

To understand this, one requires a little bit of background information. (Julie, you already know the story, so oh well...C:) A guy in town named Daniel is an absolute clown. And I guess about three weeks ago, he was a guest DJ on Michael's radio show. And so on Friday night he went into the lobby and called in to the show as "Tito", the janitor at one of the elementary schools, asking for Britney Spears. >.< But it was kinda funny, anyway... and then apparently Tito found true love, so he called in to thank the radio show. But tonight, Tito called in to request Eve 6's "Inside Out" because his girlfriend had "ripped his heart out like a mop" and he was miserable. But Michael had to say "Tito, I'm feeling for you, man, but I just don't have time to play your song. But look for it first thing next week, because I'm watching out for you." When Michael got in about ten minutes ago, he said that for one thing he actually didn't have enough time, and for another for some reason somebody at the radio station stripped a whole hell of a lot of songs out of the computer, including "Inside Out" so Tito has to wait. But still, it was really funny that he called, because of the voice Daniel uses and because I know that Michael wanted Tito to be a regular part of the show. :)

I had a family Labor Day thing today. >.< It wasn't fun. I think I spent about two and a half hours sitting in our van with the music on, sitting with two seventh graders. (One's my cousin Jenny, and the other is her best friend (I think) Sarah. Sarah's a skateboarder-flavored skater, so if I get a skateboard on Wednesday for my birthday like I think I will (because my parents are cheap and so I'm not going to get a car, computer, kitten, leather coat, sword, armor, job, or (probably) drum set from them) then Anne, Jenny, and Sarah are all going to come visit and Sea-Doo and camp nearby, and they'll give me some pointers. At some point in the future, anyway...

I downloaded Alicia Keys' "Fallin" last night (the night before? Maybe...) because I like it, and hey, you always need the blues... I've got a WinAmp list of thirty love songs/ songs for when you're feeling maudlin and mushy, and it went on it. I've got a lot of songs on there... most of them do in fact fit that description, but then I've got No Doubt's "Six Feet Under" and Blues Traveler's "Hook" just so that they're not all sappy. But the rest of them are. :)

I'm one step closer to still not having a car... I spent almost $50 at WalMart last night. >.< I know I shouldn't, but I was running out of "new" clothes. As in, I hadn't bought any in a very long time, and now I have, so that's good.

And the best part of the day was that my sweetie wrote me an email! I was happy, even if he did misunderstand a time reference. (He wished me fun on that miserable trip, but he did it about an hour ago, and I got back about six or seven hours ago.)

I don't think I already said this, but if I did I don't care... the lyrics for "1995 Penny" by the Fine Print are nothing like what I thought they'd be. John-Boy, whatever are you doing listening to music like that??

:)

Valete, y'all....

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Does anyone actually read this?

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Great. It turns out that a whopping 3 people read my diary, and only 2 of them go to guestbooks. >.< At least John-Boy told me he reads it, though...

I hate Precalc. It is from the Devil. And I don't even believe in the devil! This should tell you how bad it is. Really.

John-Boy is quitting German. I think he should take it again later, once he's got a class that'll actually teach it to him or someone who knows it to turn to for help. Much how I'd do with Precalc, except that I don't think I'm going to take it again....

I had a very good dream last night, and I'm teasing the main players by not telling them what it was about. :)

I don't have anything else to say. Life is turning me into a boring person. >.<

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Well... I think the world is ending...

Okay, so I'm sitting in Latin class this morning, about 9:25 or so, waiting for class to end and playing Certamen, and Chris Elliot's playing in the halls finally has a purpose: He comes running into the room (well, not quite) and says that "They just blew up the World Trade Center!" So we turned on CNN, and it turns out that there are terrorists who really don't like American, as though that was new, and they blew up both of the WTC's Towers and part of the Pentagon by hijacking passenger airplanes - big ones, too, like 757s and 767s - and crashing them into buildings. I hope that you, whoever you are reading this, don't have any relatives flying from Boston to LA, Washington Dulles to LA, Newark to San Francisco, or wherever the fourth plane was from and to.

So... what are we going to do? Blow people up? Kill people? Watch President Bush try to get his head out his ass long enough to do something reasonable? Who knows?

Bah. I'm sick of this, and I've got another hour and a half of school filled with it to go. >.<

I'd say Slainte Mhath, but I think that the terrorists took away all our Peace and Health when they struck.

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Sweetie? Sure you do! That's why you left without even saying goodbye! Hah! And even if you don't get this... I'm going to send you an email so you will. :P

My parents have decided to bribe me. You see, I know that I've complained about Precalc, or "Devil Math" as I may have called it here, and I was planning, up until last night, to drop the class. But now I'm not going to. Now, I'm going to get an A. Hopefully all year long. Because if I get an A in Precalc, my parents are going to buy me a car. :) Not just any car, either. One that I will be "satisfied" with, meaning it might not be glamorous, but it will at the least run well and be big enough to haul me, my stuff, and maybe someday my friends around. (That depends on me getting some, of course...>.<)

In other news... I still don't know what the hell is going on with the whole terrorism thing, and right now I don't think I want to. I'm going to wait a day or so until we either figure out what the hell happened and who did it, or the terrorists strike again, or whatever.

In other other news... John-Boy has shaved. This may not seem like big news.

But it is. And at the very least, it's news that actually has meaning to me, whereas NYC and DC are just sort of hazy right now. I keep thinking, what if it's a "Wag the Dog" thing? That just wouldn't be cool....

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I feel weird now... I just really really need a hug, from somebody I'm not related to, because I basically need to just cuddle for an hour or so. I think it's mostly because of the WTC disaster... I want somebody to comfort me, and basically nobody around here is looking for the job. >.<

Today we had a shire meeting. We talked about the event yesterday which I didn't know about, and we talked about the event in November which might yet be called "Almost Legal." (It's the shire's 20th birthday. Get it?) I'm going to be Mistress of the List. Why I volunteered, I don't know... temporary insanity at the least, I'm sure.... And we talked about an event over in Ansteorra next weekend which a couple of the folks are wanting to go to. I might go, too... I don't know yet. I'm trying to make some garb which isn't a plain dress, and I don't know if it'll work... the muslin for the tunic is in the washer right now dyeing. It's very red. :)

Quote for the Day: "I've got to respect any man who'll bare his nipples on the battlefield."

I didn't get to talk to John-Boy today. :( Well, sort of. He was on, and we talked for a while, but I was busy doing cleaning stuff and he got a phone call, so we didn't get to talk much.

Hey John-Boy? If you read this, will you tell me?

Hey everybody else? If you read this, will you tell me?

Anyway... I need to vaccuum and dye now...

Oh hey! Breaking news... I get the car tomorrow, and I'm pretty sure that Dad's going to go to the DL Bureau with me tomorrow so I'll have an actual license and be able to go to Walmart or whatever ALL BY MYSELF!! Yay! @whee!

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I need a muse.

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Yeah, yeah, so I changed this diary. It looks different. I don't have imoods any more. (I wasn't doing a damn thing about them anyway.) I've got a bunch of links at the bottom of the page because I can't figure out how to put them in the corner. The two comics are really funny, and they've got good artwork, too. At some point I may put Penny Arcade or whatever they're called in there too, but not tonight because my head is losing it.

This is all John-Boy's fault, you know. He's in a programming class, he knows how to make his diary look pretty all by himself... *grumblegrumble* Of course, seeing as how he was also the one who told me about MegaTokyo and Mac Hall, I shouldn't complain too much...

Not that that's going to stop me, mind...

Julie! You need to update, because as interesting as your sex dream from last month is, there are other interesting things in this world! And even if you don't care if I want you to update, John-Boy told me to talk to you and tell you to update, and he said he'd read it if you did, so now you must. It's written on a scroll. (Cue visual image of Amy Yasbeck and Cary Elwes looking about two feet above the camera, him with a rather confused expression thereupon his face)

My fabric I was dyeing that I was trying to turn into deep red and beautiful turned out an atrocious pink, dammit. I'm working on it.

Damn... that reminds me, I need to run upstairs and throw the ribbon in if I want it to match...

Edit: I missed the cycle. This means that all the red, bloody, gooey water had all drained out, by a time span of probably four minutes. >.< So I'm going to have a white ribbon... maybe... or else it'll come out pink again and I'll overdye it blue and the ribbon'll come out blue while the tunic comes out purple and oh well because it'll be pretty!

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Silence (A poem)

Silence has earned its place in our world.

It comes after laughter, and when flags are furled

It finds us in love, that impossible grace

And though some deny it, I long for its taste

So often do we take away this great gift

We embrace such noise, and cause a rift

We fill our lives with meaningless things

While we dance around in meaningless rings

Silence.

One of the greatest gifts we can give

Silence, and love, and a chance each to live

There's peace, and there's sorrow

There's time for tomorrow

And after, you'll find

That you'll never mind

When the silence comes

Or a cricket hums

Or a cat starts purring

And you'll laugh

During Life's great harmony

Of silence.

Copyright (C) 2001 Bethany Ayers. All rights reserved.

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I really hate it when my friends are sad.

Even if they aren't trying to be my friends.

And even if they'll probably all be fine by the time I get to talk to them...

It's late. Goodnight.

And if you read this, please let me know, somehow or another...

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Don't hate yourself. There are enough stupid, mean, brainless, and cruel people in this world, blind to beauty of any sort, who will hate you without ever even trying to get to know you, who will hate you because you are intelligent, because you're funny, because you are a loving person. They will see this as weakness, and because you are not exactly as they are, they will hate you.

Don't hate yourself. You have friends who love you, who will always love you. You have friends who will get pissed off at you when you act stupid, because this is what friends do. You have friends who would like nothing more than to sit with you and watch movies all afternoon. You have friends who love you. You have friends who think that there is nothing in this world better than you are.

You have friends who love you.

Don't hate yourself. If you tell the world that you are a person who should be the object of hatred, the world isn't going to question your judgement. The world doesn't do that. If you hate yourself, then the world will agree with you and hate you, too.

Don't hate yourself. Yes, there are parts of you which are darker. This is true. But you shouldn't hate them, or hate yourself for having them. This is futility. Instead, accept that you have them, and seek to understand them, and seek to understand why you have them. If your dark side is something which you don't want, the only way to remove it is to accept its existence and decide how to keep it from manifesting.

Don't hate yourself. You have friends who love you. They will always love you, no matter what happens. Even if your dark side comes out, and it scares them, it will not keep them from loving you. Only you can do that. And the only way you can do that is to systematically be cruel and mean-spirited, and break their hearts day after day.

If you're the type of person who'd do that, then why have you read this far? A cruel person wouldn't care if they had a dark side. They'd rejoice. They'd revel in the anguish they could cause.

I don't think that you could be somebody like that. Because I think that you're a kind and loving person. Didn't I already say so?

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Since I'm sure most of you have already read yesterday's/early early this morning's entry, this may seem somewhat out of place, but oh well. And then again, it may not.

I hate being sad. And depressed. And not having people say all the stuff I said there.

Because as friendly as I try to be, and believe me I'm not always the kind and humble person I appear to be (coff coff), and as generous and loving as I try to be, I just end up feeling snubbed and friendless. I honestly cannot for the life of me think of the last time somebody called me up and said "Hey Beth, are you free tomorrow? You wanna go do something?" or anything similar. I have always been the one who either invited everybody else to go or else tagged along uninvited.

And I'm sick of it.

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Dammit, somebody give me a hug already!!!

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True story. Told in the traditional style. :)

No shit, there I was, in the passenger seat of Roy's car. First thing I see, of course, is him actually running to the car. Roy is not a runner, any more than I am.

Apparently, he's in a hurry. In fact, he has to give a note to Travis, but it's addressed to Stephen... and I have no more idea than Roy did about why he was the one who had to deliver it. Meh.

So he's in a hurry, right? So instead of taking the typical route he normally takes when he's nice and brings me home, since there were probably ten cars in that line, he decides what the heck, he'll go through the Hell Intersection manned by the crossing-guard.

So Roy prepares to turn left. He's the only car in that line now, and nobody's coming from the right, and the car on the left is half the block away, so he figures (and I would have done the same, I'm sure) that he has plenty of time. This is good, because as we remember, Roy is feeling rushed.

So he peels out into a left turn. But the car there was going faster than they should have, and Roy turned too far. Roy managed not to hit the car, despite being headed straight for it... he corrected his path and continued to the intersection.

Well, almost. He didn't quite correct his path. He overcorrected, and jumped the curb, and it's a good thing there's that small field right by the tech building, because we ended up in it.

I said a bad word. Only one, though. And it's just as well, because my doing so meant that Roy didn't have to, and if he had he'd be feeling bad all weekend.

Well, worse, anyway.

So we didn't hit anything, and he didn't bust up his oil pan or anything like that. We think. Heck, he'll find out tomorrow.

And gee, but didn't it make for a great story??