Wow.

I don't know if I expected that or not.

He's going. It's final. He can't stay any longer.

I mean, there was the job with MidContinental and all... but he didn't make it to the interview last week, and he can't really wait around another week.

He won't have anyplace to stay.

So he's going to leave. He won't be living in Kansas anymore. (Shut up, Toto.)

He's probably going to go to Dallas. And I'm probably going to go to KU. Although I suppose since I'm online right now I could go look for a school in Dallas... but I don't really know if it'd be worth it.

I'd have to deal with Stephen far too much if I did.

Although I could probably meet Amber et al. at some point... meh.

Anyway, let's figure on the most likely course of action: he goes to Dallas, I go to Lawrence. That's at least a 10-hour drive.

Which would mean I'd not see him much at all. And he says he "doesn't want to string me along". Which is, I suppose, kind of him.

It's odd... I was really really mad at him last night... but I can't stay mad at him at all...

I wish I could. I think it'd be easier.

I think maybe if he lived in town or with me or something like that, something where I saw him all the time, I could maybe stay angry at him at least long enough to have a fight and need to make up....

So I'm going to go see him tomorrow, for the last time in perhaps a very very long time...

I'll give him something to remember me by... I'm thinking, as far as something he can put in his pocket, I'll give him a rune. Probably Algiz, but maybe also Berkano... seeing as how Berkano means Birch, and Birch means Beth... and that's my name and all...

So I guess I'll leave him with two ceramic runes that I made myself. There's little enough else in this world I've made.

It's too bad about the skull candleholder, though. If only I'd actually gone in and finished it... then I could give him that...

Maybe I'll just have to save it for the next time I see him. That way there'll be a reason.

Besides, he still owes me a Christmas present.

Fuck this... I'm too tired. I'm going to go to bed so that I can go to a church service I'm sick of so that I can go see him tomorrow.