I hate people, once again.

Tonight was Prom.

It really really sucked.

I really liked my outfit. A black dress with vinyl straps I bought at Hot Topic. With a fishnet shirt. I thought it was very nifty.

Everybody who I'd thought was actually my friend didn't like it.

Some people who I didn't think were my friends, but were friendly acquaintances, on the other hand, thought it was pretty damn nifty. Thanks, Daniel.

The music sucked rancid monkey balls.

I discovered that fishnet stockings make your feet go ow.

I walked home, because I was sick and tired of being bitched at to an awful soundtrack while my feet hurt.

I didn't go to Afterprom, either. Which is why I'm sitting here writing this at a mere 1 in teh morning.

Right now, I really want to beat the shit out of something.

Or else have Lenny come here and distract me.

But I don't think that either one is going to happen tonight. Or anytime soon.

Haven't talked to him since Thursday. He called from his mom's, and we talked for quite a bit, and then he said "Oh.. I have to go... I'll call you back tonight, I just really have to go..." so instead of waiting for an explanation I said goodbye.

He didn't call back, either.

Or Friday.

Or today.

I tried calling him once or twice. I didn't even get his voicemail.

Last time this happened, it was because he got a bill for $230 and no way to pay it, so they canceled his service.

I hope he didn't do that again.

If he did, he has enough crap/presents from his mother that he could just sell something and have it.

Hell, for that matter he has a job, he should be able to pay it off.

I left a message with Jack on Friday afternoon. Jack, who I thought said he was named Chad, for reasons I don't know except that it was at about 1 in the morning at the time. But that was in the beginning of March, wasn't it.

I want to see him. A lot.

Somebody advised me to let him apologize and make it up to me if he can. Since that's what I wanted to do anyway, I agreed with this very good piece of advice.

However, I haven't had the opportunity to do so, now have I?

Two weeks till graduation.

Next week is St George and the Dragon in Springfield.

The week after is the Althing and Graduation, all at the same time... oy.

And then... I don't know.

Eventually I'll end up at college.

But I'd kind of like to see him before then... I just really don't know how I'd wing it.

Yes, I do. It would involve me finally talking Mom and Dad into letting me spend the night gaming at Buster's, only when at Buster's not staying the whole time, if I showed up at all.

But that would be a lie.

Which hasn't really ever stopped me before, but maybe it should.

On the other hand, he hasn't been to Indy since Christmas.

He has good reasons why not.

But I'm sure he could manage to meet me someplace here in town other than at my house without any difficulties at all.

Maybe I'll be able to talk Mom into letting me spend the night at Jess' sometime this summer, and tell him all about it...

One, I don't think Jess would mind much if we borrowed a room, if I worded it right... I think she still wants to meet him.

Two, who's to say we'd end up at Jess'?

On the other hand, who's to say he's going to call me again? He might decide he's better off without having to deal with the problems created by dating a girl two-thirds his age, barely at the age of consent in some states only.

I hate my life. And people.

I need somebody to cheer me up and distract me.

Which means instead I get to go to bed and hopefully fall asleep so that in the morning I can go to a church filled with people who don't like me so that I can go to a fighter practice (where, nobody knows) filled with people who do like me.

So that I can also see if I'm going to St George and the Dragon next week.

I should do that now.