I'm supposed to write a "really good" essay now.

Fuck.

I also got in trouble from turning in a very-strong-language-filled paper (from this diary) for my "write three entries for a journal and turn it in" Comp I ass-ignment. Teacher lady didn't like it much at all.

I've now got to drop that class, between her deciding she doesn't like me for being in a play where I'm going to miss a class or two due to tech rehearsals and because of that journal entry, and because it's a fucking boring class and she sucks as a teacher.

So hopefully I'll end up in Fisher's "Creative Writing" class. He's a cool teacher, unlike her.

Hell, I still can't even remember what her name is.

Anyway... this essay.

It's supposed to be about "how I'll use my skills to achieve my lifetime goals."

How the hell am I supposed to write this when I don't even know what the hell my "lifetime goals" are?

Right now... I don't even know.

I want to see what happens with Lenny. (I still haven't heard anything from him... but I talked to Lynn the other day, and she said she went to fighter practice on Sunday and Shawn was there. Which was slightly odd, because he's supposed to be in Oklahoma City so that Lenny can go stay with him for a little while. I really wish I hadn't gotten grounded... I should have lied and said I'd gone to practice and then went to Buster's... then maybe I wouldn't have been... bah.)

I want to get out of this small town, out of the bible belt. (Maybe I'll go to Austin. For all that you'd think it's right in the middle of the bible belt, it's like they missed a loop or something... because apparently there's a huge pagan/liberal/just really cool population there.)

I want a job that I'll love that'll pay me well enough so that I can do what I want when I want. However, I'm fairly laid-back as to how much that actually comes to.

I want kids, someday. So that I can be fairly laid-back with them, too. (At least as much as I can. ;) )

I want the perfect house. I don't know what the perfect house will be, or where it'll be. But hopefully I'll know when I see it.

I don't know if the perfect house is in just one place, either, or if the place is important at all.

The water has to taste good.

The bathroom needs some cool stuff in it, like a hot tub. Or at least a very large tub. The hot tub can be outside if need be. ;)

There needs to be a salle so that I can practice fighting once I've learned how to fight, and just generally keep in better shape than I have done.

I think I want a tree that grows in one of the rooms and all the way to outside. Maybe a courtyard, it doesn't really matter.

The floors have to be warm. And preferably wooden. I'm sick of rugs. This house has wall-to-wall carpeting in all but one room (other than the kitchen, the entryway, and the basement. And the bathrooms.)

There must be grottoes in the garden. You can't have a decent party without a place for trysts, after all.

Hand-in-hand with that, of course, is the requirement of a large enough plot of land so that the neighbors aren't too nosy. Because that really ruins the mood of the aforementioned trysts, dunnit.

It needs to be big enough so that I'd have privacy when I wanted it, but small enough so that I'd be able to find people when I needed to.

An altar room. Paneled in something that smells good, but also sort of mystical. Maybe or maybe not sandalwood; I'm not sure if that comes big enough that you could panel with it effectively... maybe whatever that really dark wood is that smells sort of musky-ish... don't know how to describe it better. You know what I mean if you know, and if you don't then you won't, no matter how I describe it.

A fire room. With a really really big fireplace, at least five feet wide and four feet tall. Furs on the floor and furniture. Sort of a barbaric room, in a way... and yet endlessly sophisticated at the same time, y'know?

A water room: maybe with some garden-y stuff in it, but a fountain at the very least. Oooh, I know: a Tayledras-style hotsprings. A mini-Vale. That'd be sweet. So I'd have at least three stone hot-tubs and a cool one, too. And the hot-tubs would all be different temperatures, of course, because otherwise that'd just be silly. And lilies, or whatever water-based plant. Or even just plants that look pretty, like water, and are easy to take care of, because I'm not really all that good. My thumb is not precisely black, but it isn't really green, either.

I want a cave. I think I'd keep my computer in there, because that way I wouldn't have to worry about natural light intruding at all the wrong moments. And it's much easier to stay awake at all hours if you don't notice the light isn't changing, as little sense as that makes.

I also want a dark room. Not necessarily one for developing photographs; but rather a room like the dark room in the castle in my sister's "Chris and Kerrie" series. A room with no windows, that's basically big enough for a couch, a TV, and maybe - maybe - one lamp. There's a lot you can do in a room like that. ;)

One room with nothing but windows. And a stereo system. And a good floor for dancing. And funky lights.

A blue room, with the stars painted accurately on the ceiling and walls. I figured out how you'd do it, too: you paint the walls and ceiling midnight blue, and then you get a star projecter in, orient it the right way, and paint away.

A green room, one that would make you feel like you were inside either an emerald or the ocean, depending on your mood. Jess would stay here whenever she visited, methinks. :)

A room with a stone floor. Just for the hell of it. No furniture or anything like that: just a stone floor. Still warm, though. Cold stone floor=icky.

A good kitchen. One with lots of counterspace and cabinetspace and a walk-in refrigerator/freezer combo. No, I've never seen one of these in real life (not as a combo, anyway). And no, that doesn't matter.

A room with a sand floor. You'd have to have it under muslin or something like that, though, or else you'd track it all over the house and that'd just be annoying.

A weaving and sewing room. I want a loom and a really good sewing machine. Maybe stuff to play with leather, too. Depends on whether or not I'm any good at it. I'll know by the time I get around to getting the house, no doubt.

I'm tempted to say I want a recording studio in the basement... but there isn't really any point to it. I'm not that good of a musician.

Room in the garage for a Harley.

A room filled with stairs. A bed on one level, a desk on another, etc.

An upside-down room. One with all the furniture glued to the ceiling, and the chandelier sticking up from the floor. Again, just for the hell of it.

At least one secret passage.

A hangar, I guess, since I'll need a small airplane to get anywhere, since chances are the only place I'd ever be able to afford this would be in the middle of nowhere. Like my grandparents' farm, which isn't _all_ that far from Wichita... but since that's in the middle of nowhere, it's about the same thing.

Enough of a yard so that I could host my own damn events and not have to worry about clearing out by midnight or getting rowdy or people getting drunk in public.

A very long, well-paved driveway, with traffic lights at both ends and a timer so that you could test your l33t dr1/1nG $k1LLz. Because as Misty told us in Born to Run, "there's no speed limit on private driveways."

A treehouse. With a little mini-fridge. And a phone connection along with the power line. Wouldn't want to feel disconnected with the real world, would we?

I think I'll stop for the nonce.