I�d like to sing a calypso
About an elephant
But songs like this are much too big;
I�ll sing about an ant!

But ants are far too humorous;
I�ll sing about a whale
And that�s why this calypso is
A tale about a tail

Sing the chorus!
Oh, to have a tail
Oh, to have a tale
I want to get ahead in life
But first I want a tale

So now I�ll sing a calypso
About a little whale
But whales are never little, so
What about a snail?

Or what about an ostrich?
But ostriches don�t fly
I�ll sing about a monkey!
Please, don�t ask me why...

But sing the chorus
Oh, to have a tale
Oh, to have a tail
I want to get ahead in life
But first I want a tail

Now monkey�s got the greatest tail
You couldn�t ask for more
He�s sitting on the sofa
While his tail�s still out the door

Now, songs like this are dangerous
What if you slam the door??
I�ll sing about an elephant
Like I told you once before

Sing the chorus!
Oh, to have a tale
Oh, to have a tail
I want to get ahead in life
But first I want a tail

Now did you ever look around
And notice nothing there?
That�s right, your tail�s been missing
For about ten million year

So folks like us can�t hang from trees
Or swat a tickly fly
Or wag when we are happy
I�m so sad, it makes me cry

I�m crying
Oh, to have a tail
Oh, to have a tale
I want to get ahead in life
But first I want a tale

Just a little tail will do
Just a little tale will do
I�ll get a little behind in life
So my tail can come through
Yes, now my tale is through

.....

Oh, and since I'm lazy and don't want to walk upstairs to mark it on my calendar there...

For the first time in and for a long while, Fenton was Right.